Don’t Play Ball!

Pork Sports

Expos move to Washington, DC

The D.C. politicians
are at it again. They’re going to waste more of our money. Some people
may think moving the Expos to the Nation’s Capitol is a good idea, but
I think it’s a supremely bad idea.

Las Vegas; Norfolk, Va.; Monterrey, Mexico; Portland,
Ore.; and Northern Virginia also made bids, but Washington clearly took
the lead during negotiations over recent weeks, strengthened by its
wealthy population base and a financial package that would build a new stadium primarily with taxpayers’ money.

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Food Police

Health Care Politically Correct

Over the years, the growing cabal of diet dictators have proposed a litany of crazy proposals to tax, legislate, and litigate away many food and beverage choices. What follows are ten of their dumbest ideas:

(This is a summary of list. For the details, click here.)

10. "We're going to sue them and sue them and sue them."
9.  …and Sue Their Parents and Sue Their Doctors…
8.  Banning Diet Soda in Schools
7.  The "Zoning" Diet -- Keep Restaurants Out of Town
6.  Hiding Candy Behind the Counter

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Duct-Taped Pants

Education

How many times have you wanted to do this?

The dress code says no pants hanging off of your ass. Assistant Principal Patricia Walters takes that shit seriously. When Spencer Allison wore his baggies down low his teacher sent him to see her and she corrected the problem in impeccable fashion.

I don’t think the principal did anything wrong either. It’s time for more teachers and principals to get creative with the way they discipline defiant students.

Discuss this students predicament on LiveJournal.

Top Ten Ways CBS News Can Improve Its Reputation

Laugh, It's Funny

From the September 22 Late Show with David Letterman

10. Stick to stories everyone can agree on,
    like cookies are delicious.
9.  Move nightly "happy hour" to after the broadcast.
8.  Stop hiring guys with crazy names like "Morley."
7.  Can't figure out if a news story is true?
    Let Judge Joe Brown decide.
6. Every time Mike Wallace tells a lie he gets a
    life-threatening electrical shock.

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