It’s not enough for
the state to bleed their citizens dry with taxes, they have to
charge their people to enjoy what should be free—the
beach. Then, after you pay them to use the beach, they think
they can tell you where you’re allowed to swim. While visiting
this sleepy town stuck in prohibition days, I had a
philosophical disagreement with one of the so-called life
guards on the beach.

The conversation started out when the pimply-faced kid asked
me "Would you mind coming over and swimming between the
flags?"

My natural reply, "Yes, I would mind."

"Sir, if you’re going to swim out any further, I’m going to
have to ask you to come over here," the kid said to me.

"No, I’m allergic to crowds. I can’t swim over there."

"Sir, I’m just doing my job."

"I’ve paid thousands of dollars to rent a house right on the
beach and you think you’re going to tell me where I can and
cannot swim? I don’t think so!"

"Sir, I’m just doing my job."

"Fine, you’ve done your job. Go away."

"Sir, I’m going to have to get a guard to come over
here."

"Fine."

The 98-pound weakling kid walked away, but a real life guard
never came over to talk to me. I think he was just too lazy.
Five minutes later I saw those guys sitting in the life guard
booth eating their sandwiches. How can you eat and watch the
beach at the same time?

My wife didn’t like my argument with the so-called life
guard. Later the same day, we did swim "in between the flags."
My daughter was almost run over and swamped by a bigger kid on
an inner tube who wasn’t watching where he was going. When that
happened I told my wife, "See…that’s exactly why I don’t want
to swim over here!"

The life guards are just pretending they can keep all the
people on the beach safe. They can’t. I don’t even know why
they try.